Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Toxic Relartionships Part 2

Like many people, I though toxic relationships were only classified by obvious abuse . I had had toxic relationships in the paste and was happy to be beyond that. But then something interesting happened. I had a dear friend that I loved deeply, but every time I was around her she was negative and critical of others. She had many wonderful qualities as well which is why I formed a friendship with her in the first place. She and her husband were like an Aunt and Uncle to me. I had done much for them as they had me and spent a great deal of time with them (just like family) for years. One day things started to change in my life. My grandchildren started to be born, our business was growing rapidly, there were medical challenges etc. This left me little time outside of my family to do the things I had always done (like long visits etc). My friend became bitter and when I actually did get the time to visit all I heard about was how I didn't visit and she was very critical towards me. She never called but placed blame on me for not calling. They never came over , even when invited but placed blame on me for not visiting . I always left their house feeling beat up and badly about myself.

I had to make a difficult decision. I had to cut ties. The relationship had become toxic for me and I had even found myself waking up in the middle of the night feeling badly about myself and starting to believe all the negative rhetoric. TOUGH STUFF. VERY DIFFICULT DECISION. But..I had to do it. I still miss them but I do not miss how I felt each time I was with them.

Your prompt today is to look closer at ALL of your relationships. Are there people that you associate with that always make you feel badly about yourself? Maybe now is the time to examine how others might feel after being around you. Are you negative or critical?

This is a great deal to reflect on and think about.

i know by the amount of private emails and postings that I received yesterday that we have landed on a subject that is very near relevant to many of you.

Have a peaceful day!

Sending Love,


  1. at different times during my 40 yr. walk with God, there have been relationships brought to examination...most of these relationships are with family OR carnal Christians... in examination of both sides of those relationships, the way i have treated others as well as the way i have been treated, i have discovered that i must be first & foremost in sync with God's Word, transforming daily...i have learned that i am to edify by word & deed...i am to walk away from all activities that are not aligned with God's Word, which means i must abide by God's boundaries AND when that means walking away from folks with a critical spirit, or gossip, or any of the 7 deadly sins, etc...walk away, in gentleness, i must...i have discovered that i am to choose obedience to avoid sin for my life, while also treating others in overcoming love, without condemnation. truth be told, many many times i am unsuccessful and either my mouth and/or my attitude are selfish, BUT i continue to practice surrendering to the unctions of the Holy Spirit...i continue to pray for those relationships AND continue helping folks, within God's boundaries, in kindness & self-control...

  2. It is really hard to cut them out of your life, but once you do! It is such a relief. I am so much more happier now.