Today we are revisiting "toxic relationships". I will occasionally give examples of toxic relations because many of us don't recognize them when we are in them.
About 10 years ago I mentored a young woman that had multiple challenges. She was in an alcoholic marriage, was an adult child of an alcoholic(her mother had dies of alcoholism) and she had the biggest chip on her shoulder that I had ever seen.
She would often call and each time she would "vent" all her anger.
I found an adult child of alcoholic meeting in our area and drove her to it and even attended with her for the first few times so she would go. She refused to go to an Al anon meeting(meeting for those that have a spouse or child that is an alcoholic). I sought psychiatric help for her and she went to therapy.
The angry negative calls continued. She stopped going to therapy because her therapist was not telling her what she wanted to hear. She would not go to any meeting on her own and refused to read any books...she didn't want to look at anything to do with herself or to change (as we are the only people we can change)..she just wanted to blame and vent. She was convinced that everything in her life was someone other than herself fault (even though she had made some very bad choices) and that everyone owed her. She would not take responsibility for anything but choose to brew in her misery and in the process bring down everyone that was around her.
TOXIC!!!!!!
After playfully consideration, I told her that if she was not willing to help herself in any way that she was not to call me anymore. I told her that when she sought therapy once again she could call me at that time but not until then.
Years past, she moved, she divorced and remarried and I occasionally hear from her. She is doing much better, went to therapy but still is pretty negative and toxic. She knows the deal..when she is seeking help or not blaming everyone else ..she can call me (it still applies)..
Our Prompt today is
Is there anyone in my life that is toxic in this way? What can I do the next time I hear from them or am around them? and/or Am I a toxic person, always blaming and always angry? What can I do today to start turning this around?
If you don't know what to do to start turning this around or what to do with your toxic person email me at smsummerville@hotmail.com . I have several resources that I can recommend.
So now for the reminder...today is the last day to leave a comment for the set of stamps. The winner will be announced on Thursday the 1st.
The Guest Designer will also be announced. I have received links her on the blog, on facebook and via my email. You may link me to your work via any of the mentioned way..but today is the last day. Our Guest Designer will be Featured b0th here and on Bloom (my other blog) and will be promoted through all of my other connections. Your bio will be appear her on July 2nd and you will be responsible for coming with four art journal prompts and submitting you own work on them in July (each Friday). So link mean example of your work (in any medium).
Have a lovely day!
Sending Love,
Susan
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My problem is that the toxic person won't leave us alone. She is trying to sneak back into my life through other family members. She tried to tell them that I am just being mean. And then the concerned family member tries to mediate to get me (the mean person) to listen to reason. I can't have this woman in my life. She damages my relationships with my children, she damages my self-esteem, and she never has a nice word to say about any one! She even critized my grandson - a 3 month old baby!!
ReplyDeleteI find myself to be angry often lately...and pretty toxic. I realize the parts I've played in a many of the things occuring in my life right now...and am making changes to improve things. I just can't seem to shake some of the evil I brought into my life by befriend certain people. But, it will soon pass. :0)
ReplyDeleteBoy this one is a good one today. Is it just me or do we all know someone who is toxic. Now weather we choose to be a part of their life is different. I had top pull away from a girlfriend a few years because of almost the same thing. I felt sorry for her but she she refused to get any help. I just pray for her now.
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